its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
