So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
