Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
