So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
