I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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