Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
