Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
