I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
