Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
