so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
