If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
