I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
