so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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