Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
