like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
