We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
