How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
