yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
