Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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