No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
