im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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