For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
