I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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