Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
