I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
