Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
