When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
