Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I want a musical about memes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
