My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
