I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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