he thought i was a dude.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
