It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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