Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
