She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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