I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Even my vagina gasped.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
