hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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