Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
