I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
