have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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