I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
