yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
