i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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