Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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