Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
either way he was missing a nipple.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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