would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
