JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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