When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
