There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
