Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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