Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
high people should be assigned attendants
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
