it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
