this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
