you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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